Bay 2 Beaches H3 Hash Trash Trail #37 4th Analversary Sunday, March 1, 2015
March 7, 2015
Hash Trash for B2BH3 Trail #37, 4th Analversary, & Paddle Hash - Crystal River
Casual T Friday
Tipless Scissor Cock
Rhotan Von Rhotan
Check My Mast
The B2BH3 Trail #37, 4th Analversary Hash, and Paddle Hash was an epic adventure. After downing grub and brews at the Crystal River Ale House we circled up in the parking lot to the Port Hotel and Marina. We welcomed Check My Mast's new hasher Virgin Brittany. We launched into King's Bay from the marina boat ramp and headed north and the east into a cove where Casual T Friday and Tipless Scissor Cock saw a night heron hiding in a tree overhanging the water. After loop-di-looping around Parker Island we headed to Buzzard Island where we admired a bald eagle. Next stop… Three Sisters Springs. Metawhorical Sunshine, Casual, and Tipless made it into the springs. Rhotan Von Rhotan, Mast, and VB got side-tracked by a giant mechanical swan and got lost on trail (couldn't figure out we went where all the commercial boats were parked and snorkelers were snorkeling). After paddling around among the manatees and snorkelers and getting chastised by the manatee "hall monitor" on a...
Bay 2 Beaches H3 Trail #30, Sunday, August 3, 2014
August 3, 2014
B2BH3 Trail #30 Hash Trash - Weedon Island Wackiness
Met at the Weedon Island Nature Center parking lot. Circled up on the water. After some really elaborate trail marking instructions by Tipless Scissor Cock ("follow the orange flagging tape"), we got underway. It didn't
Posted at: 09:34 PM | Permalink
Bay 2 Beaches H3 Trail #25 Sunday, March 2, 2014
March 2, 2014
Hash Trash for B2BH3 2nd Anniversary Hash
Trail #25 on 3/2/14 marked the 2nd Anniversary of the Bay-2-Beaches Hash House Harriers kennel. Held at Ft Desoto county park, it included a beer mile and cycling hash. The trail was RA'd and Co-Hared by Casual T.Fridayand Metawhorical Sunshine. After the rousing opening circle, lost-one and recent DC-to-Sarasota transplant Mother Chalker, joined us. We took to the quarter mile loop of the Beer Mile, a scenic trail winding both through woods and along the beach. Casual and Meta were the FRBs because they drank faster than everyone (setting trail makes you thirstier, I suppose). No one spewed or admitted to it though drinking Lime-A-Rita would have certainly been a good reason. The trail shiggy was apparently too much for Meta who, showing off on her fifth lap, went down tripping over a large branch stretching across half the road that she had passed at least five times before. Casual whined about the time it took other hashers to take note of her weak yells of "Hasher Down!" to stop drinking, and to run several hundred yards to Meta's aid or further injury. After icing/splinting Meta's "broken forearm",...
Bay 2 Beaches H3 Trail #24 Sunday, February 2, 2014
February 2, 2014
Trail #24 almost ended 15 minutes into the trail when we found the return true trail after missing the first turn. Being good sports, we found the turn on the way back on continued on-on. Peterphile, Just Devon, Where's My Goat, and Rhotan Von Rhotan started out as the Front-Running Bastards. It quickly became apparent that I Be Smart (IBS) was conserving flour by using the absence of trail marks to mean true trail. What's up with that!? He was probably on orders from On-Ahead, who had to work and missed trail, to leave enough flour for her to make gravy, cookies, or something to clog arteries. After we missed quite a few turns and almost literally being up a creek without a paddle, Black and Decker Pecker Recker (aka BAD) called in the coordinates to the beer stop and we shortcut our way there using Headplant Vagina's knowledge of local bars. Casual TFridaydumped a load (beer can) in the bar's dumpster instead of following the lead of others before us who just threw their beer bottles in the flower planter out front. She also noted on the sign out front a position was available as bar wench,...
Bay 2 Beaches H3 Trail #23 Sunday, January 5, 2014
January 5, 2014
Hash Trash for B2BH3 Trail #23 "Search for Donk's"
Trail #23 was Tipless Scissor Cock's virgin lay so, of course, it was a shitty trail or so the song said. Metawhorical Sunshine co-hared. This "VIP trail" consisted of a running trail and a bicycling trail. Both trails were dead hare and started and ended at Walter Fuller Park which had a nice view of a lake, trees, birds, and other outdoorsy shit. Since Meta arrived late, Tipless laid 3/4 of the trail by himself which explains why it was so shitty. He managed to get the pack off trail because the VIPs were chatting instead of looking for treed trail marks that showed the trail veered right. Lesson 1 for Tipless: use arrow marks when veering. Just Don became Diane for this trail due to using a named mug recycled from the thrift store. Made beer stop at Donk's Sports Bar where Meta went down on the wheelchair parking space. That brought bartender Kim out to see what the hell we were up do. After consuming a pitcher inside, we met "The Donk" and Mrs. "The Donk" who whipped Diane's ass at electronic bowling. Before on-on we had a...
A big thank you to Tipless Scissor Cock who took the time to write up a B2BH3 hash trash...I was laughing while re-living the day in my mind!
After a hectic circle with a flip cup challenge that was no contest, Trail #22 got off to a wrong start because the hare planned it that way. Thanks, Casual. Haz joined us at normal speed after injuring himself trying to be Superman flying around the world. We toured the neighborhood and a couple more false trails for a while then headed for the beach. Since flour is a bit hard to see, we followed the surveyors flags. The hare was very selective about which flag symbols were valid. Hmm. We stumbled into Jimmy B's for brewskis. Tipless reunited with a server from Steak n Shake who was tending bar. No discounts though, damn it. Then on-on on the beach again. Picking up the flags, Tipless spotted a rather large, evil-looking drill bit by the flag. No one took his offer to get drilled, so he left it for another treasure hunter. We cruised into the Trade Winds tiki bar. Interested bar tenders took a lot of photos....
I'm not sorry I was too busy laughing to take anymore photos than I did. I'm not sorry the virgin studly tenderonies kept THE 2 B2BH3 COUGARS busy (whoop!). I'm not sorry I accepted the 8% Limarita for the final beer mile lap (ouch!). I'm not sorry I completed my Donnelle the Retard down-down with my mouth duct-taped (appropriate!). I'm not sorry the weather was gorgeous for a B2BH3 Picnic Island hash! I'm not sorry Lepracock cheated more than usual. I'm not sorry Finger in the Queen drank from #2. I'm not sorry I brought spare clothes!
Thanks wanks, for another classic Bay 2 Beaches H3 laugh-a-thon!
Hare Blessing Sausage and Strap On worked hard on today's trail, I hope you've carb-loaded, today's hash is not for the frail. Bring water wings, Neosporin, bug spray and sunscreen, and try to make it through trail without rupturing your spleen. So repeat after me! Coppus no catch us! Huge spiders no trap us! Water snakes no bite us! Sun no burn us! In the name of the flour, the fun, and the holy bi-challenged run! ON-OUT!
Posted at: 09:27 AM | 0 Comments | Add Comment | Permalink
Bay 2 Beaches H3 Hash Trash Trail #9
November 4, 2012
Metawhorical Sunshine's Birthday Trail #9 Sunday, November 4, 2012 Hare: Metawhorical Sunshine RA: Casual Friday Start: Flatwoods Park Preserve
It's Meta's special day, and some of us have been drinking, after biking trail, you'll wonder "What the Hell was the hare thinking?"
Meta worked hard on a fabulous trail but when you work through her hash challenge, you better watch your trail!
It's a beautiful day to be a half-century old Meta's till hotter than shit, let the truth be told!
So repeat after me!
Park Ranger no catch us! Thickwich no choke us! Bicycle no break us! and ass-cheeks to hurt us!
In the name of the flour, the hash pride and the holy bicycle ride!